Choosing to Be Unoffendable: A New Perspective on Anger

The other day, during a coaching session, I had someone suggest that one could choose to be "unoffendable.” At first, I was skeptical. After all, the concept of being offended is deeply ingrained in our responses to perceived slights or injustices. But as I delved into what it means to be offended, particularly in the context of anger and resentment, I found myself questioning long-held beliefs.

Understanding Offense and Anger

“Offended” is often synonymous with anger and resentment, yet these emotions don't always serve us well. The idea of taking offense implies an entitlement to be angry with others. But is there truly a place for "righteous anger"? At first, I thought so, especially as someone who identifies as a Christian, believing anger might be appropriate in certain situations.

Reexamining Righteous Anger

In an attempt to prove the opposite, I turned to the Bible, hoping to find verses that justified my indignation. What I found changed my perspective. The truth is, not only can we choose to be unoffendable; we should make that choice. Releasing our hold on anger is a sacrifice that pleases God and demands humility from us. We are asked to surrender not just anger but the supposed right to it, leading us to be more centered on others rather than ourselves.

Living as the Most Unoffendable People

Deciding to let go of our anger transforms how we experience life. When we finally understand that the right to hold onto anger doesn’t exist, we embrace forgiveness more fully. This shift dramatically affects our interactions—not because we condone wrongdoing but because we understand the power of grace and forgiveness.

The Allure of Moral Superiority

Truth be told, we often enjoy the feeling of being angry. It offers a sense of moral superiority, a way to claim righteousness in the face of someone else's wrongs. We’re adept at justifying our own anger, often deeming it righteous. Yet any feeling, including anger, clouds judgment and doesn’t constitute critical thinking or righteous living.

Forgiveness as a Non-Negotiable

The teachings of Jesus provide no room for selective forgiveness based on someone’s demeanor. In fact, those very provocations demand our forgiveness most urgently. Grace is not for the deserving; it’s a call to let go of anger and resentment even when it feels justified.

The Teachings of James and Paul

In scripture, James unequivocally states that "the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." Paul echoes this, encouraging believers to rid themselves of anger and harsh words. This directive is not conditionally applied—it’s absolute. Anger offers no enhancements to judgment or righteousness.

Seeking Justice without Anger

Seeking justice and loving mercy are possible without succumbing to anger. The best police officers and soldiers master their duties without letting anger cloud their judgment. Anger is not the companion of justice—it carries potential for flawed decisions.

A New Path Forward

Initially, the idea of relinquishing anger felt foreign, even nonsensical, to me. However, embracing an unoffendable mindset has enriched my life and brought me closer to understanding the heart of Jesus. Choosing not to be offended, to live without the burden of anger, offers a freedom unlike anything anger could provide.

By redefining our relationship with anger, and releasing our perceived right to be offended, we open ourselves to a more fulfilling, humble, and grace-filled existence—a path well worth walking.